Meet Barnabus Collins (Johnny Depp) of the iconic Collins family. They sailed over from England to establish a prosperous fishing community in Maine during the 1700's. Unfortunately for the entire Collins clan, one their staff, Angela (Eva Green) fell in love-sies with ole Barnabus. He was less than infatuated with Angela, which would be no big deal if she weren't a...well, witch. Angela promptly cursed the family, killing ma and pa Collins. Next, she turns Barnabus into a vampire and puts him in a box. Angela buries Barnabus for all of eternity, which in this case is about 200 years. Then, he was unleashed by a construction crew in 1972. Ole Barnabus endures a bit of a culture shock--which is kind of how I feel every time I journey back home to Salem, Indiana, but I digress. At any rate, Barnabus is now faced with the challenge of rebuilding the Collins family name, business, and the family itself. The 1972 Collins fam consists of new matriarch Elizabeth (Michelle Pfeiffer), her rebellious 15-year old daughter, Carolyn (Chloe Maretz), her dense, but dastardly brother Roger and his son, David (Gulliver McGrath). As if Barnabus doesn't have enough on his plate, he must also battle Angela, who has stuck around to build her own fishing empire and is hell bent on hooking up with our hero once again. Yadayadayada Barnabus struggles to rekindle the Collins fire and defeat his evil nemesis.
It's okay. I'll go with 3.0 Stars. The approach from Director Tim Burton on the Dark Shadows spoof is one of a melodramatic, comedic sponge in waters that were ripe with spine-tingling horrific chills originally. Does it work? Well, it certainly has plenty of funny moments, many of which are played out with very over-the-top dramatic flare. Those are some pretty entertaining moments. The story just unfolds in such a haphazard way, that this one smells hmm...fishy. It's more of a missed opportunity than a Box Office smash. You've got some great comedic moments as Barnabus' world collides with the funky, but peace-lovin' 70's. Historically, however, this type of funny wears out quickly and you just need more to carry a 2-hour experience. Yeah, you get more, but not nearly enough to make this one a must see classic.
Actually, considering the star power behind this flick, three months ago I fully expected Dark Shadows to dominate its opening weekend. However, after an unexpected rise of The Avengers, I didn't really anticipate a Box Office win...even though the super hero competition was in its second weekend. Actually, with the prelims in as of this writing, it looks like The Avengers dominated at a 3-to-1 pace. This wasn't necessarily because Dark Shadows was so bad. It wasn't. Rather, it's because the competition was so good and is getting the buzz attendees now to see what all of the hubbabaloo is about.
As for Dark Shadows, Depp is certainly able to take a production that would have otherwise been headed for mediocrity and turn it into something pretty entertaining. However, he wasn't enough to turn this flick into a classic, not even with co-stars like Pfeiffer and Carter anchoring him. The rest of the cast is okay. Although, Maretz is not that great, which is a big disappointment to me because I really have her pegged as an up-and-comer.
Bottom line: it's pretty good and worth a watch. If you can only see one flick this year, well, you'll probably want to see The Avengers or The Dark Knight Rises, but if you can become a regular at the ticket office and concession stand lines, well...put this one on the list. It has its moments and is worth a watch.
True...OUT!
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