Big Screen Blurb: Bad Teacher

Pop quiz...and this is worth 100 percent of your grade for Weekend 101:

Bad Teacher = ?

 A) Bad Movie

 B) A pat on the back for the trailer producers, because they duped me into thinking this was going to rock.

 C) You're kidding me, right?

 D) Mrs. Mayfield from first grade

 E) All of the above

If you answered "E--All of the above", you just passed Weekend 101. You also have a good chance of enjoying a beautiful weekend with perhaps another movie. Afterall, there are plenty of great ones out there. In fact, if my clock could rewind to Friday night--I'd go see Super 8 or HangoverPart II again before dropping coin and precious weekend seconds on Bad Teacher.

Elizabeth (Cameron Diaz) is not just a bad teacher; she's a miserable human being. She's a gold digger who was recently exposed, and promptly dumped, by her fiance to be--now, she's struggling. With no other choices to make ends meet, back to school she goes. There she meets Scott (Justin Timberlake). He is, as they say in the gold digging game: NEXT! He's got family money and plenty of it. Plus, his naive nature makes him seemingly easy pickins' for our pot-o-gold pro. Enter Amy (Lucy Punch). She's also a teacher at JAMS (John Adams Middle School) and a good one, albeit a little weird one. Amy also has eyes for Scott. Elizabeth is forced to step up her game and that means purchasing a pair of brand new boobs to woo Scotty-boy. This means coming up with ten grand on her own. Meanwhile, here's Russell (Jason Segel). His sights are set on Elizabeth, who of course ignores him and his gym teacher salary. She's too busy eyeing various ways of raising dough in order to increase her titillating boob fund. Yadayadayada some steamy car washes and a budding rivalry later (Amy vs. Elizabeth), we're pretty much back where we started.

It's really not very funny, which is pretty disappointing because I really thought this one could be quite entertaining. Not so much: 2.0 Stars. Sure, there are some funny moments, but you probably experienced the same number of those laughing in line with friends while making fun of the people going to see Cars 2--well, the laugh was on us.

Actually, if Bad Teacher deserves any credit at all, it would be for some groundbreaking character growth. Groundbreaking in the fact that there was really no attempt to make the main character grow at all. Pretty unique, huh? After all, at the beginning of the flick, we see Elizabeth. She's a horrible teacher and a pretty horrible human being as well. She cares about...well, let's see...HER. Fast forward 92-minutes later and we find Elizabeth. She's still a horrible teacher and a pretty horrible human being. That deserves some cudos, right? I mean, the standard formula here would be to take a self-centered gold digger and through a series of experiences of humanity, she begins to see the light--bond with the kids...care about them a little more than herself...embrace the no-dough gym teacher and love him because of a great connection and not a platinum card. Is that what we see from ole Liz? Nope. We see little to no character growth whatsoever. That's pretty groundbreaking stuff. At least it's real, right? How often do we see annoying co-workers, friends, significant others, etc, go through a series experiences and come out as big a jerk as they were before? That is reality, right? I needed more. I needed more funny. I needed more character growth. I needed to see Liz connect and begin to make a difference in someone's life besides her own.

As for the cast...well, I love Cameron Diaz. I even liked Knight and Day despite a lot of bad reviews (which I suspect were primarily based on a Tom Cruise bias stemming from his religion of choice, which I'm a little more objective about than most), but Cameron in Bad Teacher, well, she did "bad" no mis-justice. Give her that much credit. Actually, I really can't complain about the acting here. I love Diaz, Segel and even Timberlake was okay. Each lived up to their role. The problem here comes from a script that need a few shots of hilarity added if it was going to live up to the comedy genre. The other problem: Give me some character growth. We get the alternative in real life and it's no picnic, baby.

Skip this one altogether...and stop making fun of the little kids and hapless adults in line to see Cars 2!!! A few million five-year olds can't be all wrong.

True...OUT!

Big Screen Blurb: Green Lantern

The question on Thursday night was simple. Was Green Lantern MSW? For you blockbuster flick newcomers, MSW stands for Midnight Showing Worthy. In other words, is it worth it to be dead to the world all day Friday in order to catch the earliest showing possible of a big flick. As for the Green Lantern, the answer was a solid, "Yes! (duh!!!)"

Okay...I admit it. If you're not a comic book super geek, or at least a fan of Green Lantern, you're probably not going to get quite the goosebumps from the glowing green suit as my fellow DC fans. There is, however, enough in this flick to make it a definite 'see'--whether it's a 'big screen' or 'rent' may depend upon you, my friend.

Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds) is a not so mild-mannered pilot. His devil-may-care attitude usually sees him finding enough trouble for a whole zip code. This may actually be why the ring chose him. The 'ring' in this case is the ring of the Green Lantern. The Green Lantern Corp is a group of 3,600 individuals who are gifted with the power of will and donn the ring. It's more than jewelry; it gives them the ability to create nearly anything with merely the will to imagine it. With the universe divided into 3,600 sectors and a member of the Green Lantern Corp to defend their assigned sector, we find sector 2814 in a wee bit of trouble. This is a concern mainly because that's earth's sector and it's guarded by one of--if not thee, most powerful Green Lantern, Abin Sur. Sur is attacked by one of the banished Guardians, who has been revived and currently poses a very real and frightening threat to the Corp and subsequently the universe. Sur crashes and dies on earth, but not before he completes the search for his replacement. Enter Jordan. From there, Jordan trains on Oa to live up to the requirements of the Corp and promptly squares off against Hector Hammond (Peter Sarsgaard). Hammond had the fortunate misfortune of performing the autopsy on Sur and became infected with the enemy that attacked the deceased Lantern. Yadayadayada the Green Lantern battles sinister forces in sector 2814 while trying to earn his green stripes on Oa and win the heart of his long-time flame Carol Ferris (Blake Lively).

It's good. Very good actually. I'll go with 4.0 Stars with this disclaimer: If you're a comic book fan/Green Lantern fan...well, then you're really going to enjoy this flick. If you're a comic book SUPER NERD and wear your own Green Lantern ring for good measure...well, then I'm sure you'll find enough dissimilarities between the movie and the comic book to make you at least a little malcontent. If, however, you're not a big super hero fan and are just looking for a good, fun summertime movie to enjoy over the span of 205 minutes...well, you'll probably find enough in the movie to rate it as a 3.0 Star experience but may find yourself a little more lost in the comic zone than your comfort zone allows.

Me? I liked it. A big concern for me going in was that they would just plop a green suit on Ryan Reynolds and jump right into the story without explaining much about the Green Lantern Corp or the Guardians on Oa. That didn't happen. We got a great look and explanation of all of the above with great effects and cinematography to match. We learn a lot about Hal...about the Corp...about the enemy and even the Guardians. That set up a nice story for me, as I tend to be someone who hovers above the rank of comic fan but below the super nerd category. For me, it was a good balance.

My only complaint would be with the development of the Green Lantern vs. Hector Hammond dynamic. There just wasn't enough of a rivalry established between the two to create a vested interest in their later battles. Maybe there wasn't a long enough history to delve into there...I'm not sure. But I do know that when the audience has a vested interest in the hero while simultaneously holding a strong dislike for the villian, we become more emotionally invested in what we're watching. We cringe with each blow our hero takes and wreak with discomfort when the villian appears to hold the upper hand. With Hammond, well...he was just a smart, but geeky college prof with a powerful papa. There was no real reason to dislike him, but plenty of reasons to empathize with him, which really watered down the whole Lantern-Hammond showdown. The same is true when Green Lantern squares off against the ultimate enemy, Parralax. That was a pretty good showdown and ways was reminiscent of Superman's protection of the city folk against General Zod and company in Superman II.

That minor complaint aside, see this one BIG--that is, if you fall into category one or two described above. If not, add it to your queue, unless my comic-ese has scared you off and then you might want to enjoy it on a cold night in October (when it comes out on Blu-Ray). Enjoy your weekend...I'm going to try and catch up on my sleep, if you don't mind...don't worry...it was worth it!

True...OUT!!!

BIg Screen Blurb: Super 8

It's Stand by Me meets Alien in what could very well be the blockbuster hit of the summer and year. A fascinating storyline gives way to plenty of action and suspense in this Steven Spielberg gem, which stars many fresh faces and a few familiar ones.

Meet Joe (Joel Courtney). He's a kid struggling to endure the death of his mother and all but absent deputy father. He does have his friends, however, and they provide plenty of distraction. Specifically, Charlie (Riley Griffiths), who is a budding film-maker. Charlie's zombie flick stars a few of his friends. We've got Alice (Elle Fanning) who is seemingly everyone's crush. There's Martin (Gabriel Basso) who has a nervous stomach to say the least. And Cary (Ryan Lee), who is fascinated with anything that blows up. Stay tuned young Cary because while the crew has snuck out at midnight for a little film session by the railroad, they are witness to an explosion of gargantuan proportions. A truck apparently purposely derails the train, unleashing something into this small Ohio town. No one knows the "what's", "where's" or "why's", but this thing has set off a chain reaction that involves pets fleeing the town, people disappearing left and right amid a whole host of unexplainable technological issues. Plus, the Air Force is swarming the place, but mum's the word. Yadayadayada...the kids piece it all together on their way to another win for J.J. Abrams (writer/director) and Spielberg.

It's great. I'll go with 4.5 Stars and inching toward five with more consideration. It combines a uniquely fascinating storyline with fresh faces that deliver a suspenseful, sci-fi mystery story in a fashion that rivals pure entertainment. The characters make this a definite winner as well. The kids were great! The connection they shared on-screen reminded me of my middle-school days, providing me with a nice bond to the kids and story. Their bond genuinely contributed to both the development of the characters themselves and the overall plot as well. From Joe to Cary, these were impressive performances and fun stuff.

Yes, as much as I enjoyed Super 8, I've still got a few issues with it. There were just a few things that I would've liked to have seen done differently...well, not differently as much as developed more thoroughly. I would have loved to seen Joe's relationship with his dad played out and developed a little more. The two aren't close. That much is clear. We get that, but a further development of that relationship could have added depth to an already great story. Also, the creature...hmm...I would've liked to have gotten to know the creature better. It was certainly treated with effective mystery throughout the first 90-minutes of the film's 112 minutes. That mystery and intrigue component...well, I loved it! However, once we were in a position to finally get to know more...we really didn't get a very complete picture.

See this one and see it BIG! It's solid from start to finish. Mystery...abound! Action...abound! Relationship issues from father/son to friend/friend to a budding cute romance between the kids...all abound! Just don't get antsy and leave when you see 'The End'--you don't want to miss Charlie's completed film that rolls with the credits! This is a good one...Enjoy!

True...OUT!

Big Screen Blurb: Paul

Take two sci-fi geeks...add a kidnapped fundamentalist...and oh yeah...throw in an alien with a host of feds in hot pursuit, and the stage is set for Paul. Don't let the cute Pixar-esque CG alien fool you. This one is an adult swim all the way, and if you bring your noodle and sunscreen you'll have hearty time!

Paul (Seth Rogan) is our alien. He landed on our fare planet several decades ago. He's been carrying his weight ever since--he's helped NASA out on several occasions and even contributed greatly to Steven Spielberg's ET. Now the government is running out of uses for him, so they're considering the possibility of opening up that green head of his to see what makes him tick. That's a proposition that ole Paul is not too keen on so off he goes...into the wild brown vast land of the desert. That's where Paul meets up with Graeme and Clive (Simon Pegg and Nick Frost). They're a couple of Brit comic book geeks who are traveling from sci-fi show to sci-fi show across our fair land. They were hoping to catch a glimpse of Area 51, but alas, they caught a lot more. They caught the live version instead. Along the way, they pick up Ruth (Kristen Wiig), a devout fundamentalist who Paul promptly shows the light. Yadayadayada the foursome then set out to help Paul rendezvous with his homeys and get back to his own universe while being pursued by the sinister US Government headed by, appropriately enough Sigourney Weaver and Jason Bateman.

It's great. I'll go with 4.0 Stars. There is some very funny stuff here. Paul provides a unique storyline and a brand of off-beat humor that will make you forget about phoning home for at least an hour and 44 minutes. Sexual humor, irreverence, a plot twist and even a cameo from Jane Lynch make this one to see. Simon Pegg, best known to US viewers as Scotty in the most recent Star Trek flick and Reepicheep in the Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader, held up his half of the British dynamic duo. Nick Frost, who I loved in Pirate Radio, did the same with the other half. Then, there's Seth Rogan. What is left to say about this guy other than CHA-CHING! He brings the voice of Paul to life in a way that creates an instantly lovable extra-terrestrial personality. He's a combination of Yoda and ET with a little Uncle Festus thrown in for good measure. Plus, Kristen Wiig, who has been on her own roll of late, continued that surge with this role. She's hilarious--playing the enlightened soon-to-be former fundamentalist with all kinds of funny. Ruth is just learning to cuss while learning about sex and a whole host of previously forbidden fruit. Wiig brought hilarity that rounded out the core four very nicely.

It may be too late to see this one BIG, but see it when you get a chance. It's estimated to be released on DVD and Blu-Ray in August. Add it to the queue and enjoy!

True...OUT!

Big Screen Blurb: X-Men: First Class

Most comic book movies have clear boundaries between good and evil. There's the Batman versus Joker; Superman versus Lex Luther and Spiderman opposing the Green Goblin. What I like best about the X-Men series, is that it's very much good versus gray, at least at it's foundation, which is quite thought provoking.

If you're already familiar with the story, Professor X is quite noble in his pursuits. It's true. He seeks to rally around an accepting attitude toward mutants and bridge the gap between the rigidly unaccepting humans. Enter Magneto. He's developed a rather impatient view of the human's lack of embrace toward the mutants. You can certainly see Magneto's point of view. Afterall, how much loyalty should one expect to hold toward a race that would never truly accept you. Further, even when you save that group only to see them violently turn on you...hmm, really makes one understand Magneto's perspective. The hue turns an interesting shade of gray, doesn't it.

It's the beginning. Charles Xavier (Jame MacAvoy) knows he's different--he's been reading minds for awhile. Eric (Michael Fessbender) learns that he has certain gifts, but his ability is learned in a dramatically devastating way. In fact, his path incites much anger and a thirst for revenge. That sets the stage as humans begrudgingly work hand-in-hand with the mutants that they so greatly fear because of those against-the-norm abilities. Meanwhile, Sebastian Shaw (Kevin Bacon) has put together his own band of mutants. His group is hell-bent on pitting America against Russia in a war that will wipe out both and ultimately set-up mutant control of the planet. Professor X and Magneto work alongside the CIA and rally their own group of young mutants to fight fire with fire. Yadayadayada...the X-Men work to avert nuclear war during the Cuban Missile Crisis of 1962 while Eric seeks revenge against someone that he shares as much common ground with as he does hatred toward.

It's good...very good, in fact. 4.0 Stars on my scale easy! I love the historical aspect being interwoven with the fantasy of the comic. Plus, character development is strong here, as well. We watch as Eric goes full-circle: from an angry and bitter man who is greatly intent on murdering his tormentor, to finding a path lit by more serenity only to revert back to his original motivation.

Further, there are always great messages in this series. First, accept yourself. Even if  your differences put you outside the norm--that's okay. Embrace those differences with great confidence and love. Second, you're never truly alone if you will just allow yourself to find strength in others who share that common ground. And finally, this series showcases the ultimate dangers involved in a society that refuses to embrace others out of an ignorant fear, which is a lesson that applies to our social structure in a variety of issues of the day.

It's an exciting, well put together flick that provides plenty of entertainment and conversation starters. See it and see it BIG!

True...OUT!

Big Screen Blurb: Arthur

Living the life of Riley...well, make that the life of Arthur. It's a life full of booze, broads and Batman. I'm not really sure how much of this was fiction and how much was actually based on Russell Brands' life. The reality part probably cut out around the time he donned the Batman suit (ya know...the whacked one that Val Kilmer wore with the nipples) and drove the Batmobile around NYC. Actually, I think it would have been better to watch Adam West bouncing around Gotham for two hours.

Arthur (Russell Brand) really never grew up. He was really never asked to...at least not until his shenanigans started painting his Mum's company in a sour light. Arthur would drink...hook-up with a few nameless, semi-faceless and completely bra-less chicks...he'd drink some more before flying around the city in either Scooby Doo's Mystery Machine or Magnum PI's Ferrari, or yes, the Batmobile...drink some more...do some drugs...day turns into night turns into day. You gettin' the picture yet? He's a drunken, self-centered brat who has lived on someone else's millions for far too long. Now, he's being asked to grow up. To help rush this process along, it's been arranged that Arthur marry Susan (Jennifer Garner). She's a solid, strong business woman who will bring character and confidence back to the company that Arthur stands to inherit. Mum's appeased. Susan is all for it. Shareholders will be happy. Everyone wins, right? Well, Arthur thinks not. He's fallen in love with a quirky tour guide, Naomi (Greta Gerwig). She's just odd enough to keep Arthur's attention. Arthur falls in love and yadayadayada we witness his descent into attempted adulthood.

I had no real expectations heading into this flick. Actually, I was too wee of a lad to have seen the original Arthur (Dudley Moore and Liza Minnelli) so I had no frame of reference. I knew it was about a rich brat and starred Russell Brand, who I loved in Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Get Him to the Greek; and had Helen Mirren (who I love in about anything) as the loving, but frustrated nanny. Actually, Mirren was the only real saving grace in this 2.0 Star effort. Sure, it had it's moments. It even had a couple of laugh out loud moments. Ultimately however, it just wears on you--check that...it grates on you. Of course, Brand was perfectly cast because in many ways he relates quite well to that lifestyle. When he's asked to play a role that fits his own reality, he's great--of course, that's not really acting though is it? He just couldn't save it and neither could Mirren, who was solid as the nanny. Yes, finally Arthur grows up...bit by bit...and realizes that high love is better than high life. So, yes, we get to where you expect to be taken, it just took awhile to get there and with a plot that just had far too many flat points to keep the funny alive.

Honestly, I wouldn't even rent this one. It was good for a night out, but I think our time would have been better spent just hangin' out somewhere than drudging through the less-than-laugh-a-minute Arthur.

True...OUT!