Big Screen Blurb: Red

Red. Yeah, it's an acronym. Supposedly, it stands for Retired-Extremely-Dangerous. I don't buy it. What RED actually stands for is the Real-Entertaining-Deal. This is a good flick and highly anticipated. I went to a matinee and let's just say CHA-CHING if you own Regal stock; the place was pretty packed. Just look at the cast and you see why.

The troupe is headlined by Bruce Willis and Mary-Louis Parker, but also includes: Helen Mirren, John Malkovich, Richard Dreyfuss and Morgan Freeman--legends one and all. Willis plays Frank Moses, a retired CIA man. After a life chock-full of danger and intrigue, who could blame him for getting a little bored with the white-picket life of suburban Cleveland. That boredom and loneliness is partly the reason why he's struck up a friendship with Sara (Parker), an equally bored government employee in Kansas City, who is basically a customer service rep for pensions. The two become friends. Soon thereafter, the Feds make the mistake of trying to take out Frank--not in the same way that the shy and surprisingly date-awkward Frank wants to take out Sara, mind you. The Feds use ammunition and a lot of it, but he escapes.

Frank then seeks to piece together the who's, why's and what's of this assassination plot. With Sara in tow, the pair meet up with Frank's former colleague, Joe (Freeman), which subsequently leads to a visit to Marvin (Malkovich). They both have plenty of spark left, although Joe's spark is left wasting away in a retirement home. Marvin, meanwhile, is just kinda nuts. He's actually hilarious with or without his stuffed pink pig along for the ride. But hey, I can't be critical considering that, until the age of five, I toted around a pink stuffed rabbit affectionately named Bright Pink, but I digress. The final piece to the puzzle that is the "old gang" is Victoria (Mirren). She's a class act killer who could off you in a minute, but I swear your dying breath would be politely thanking her for doing so. At any rate, the gang is all here and they are each marked for death from their previous employer. For what? Therein lies the story. Stealing too many pens? Broke one too many copy machines? Lousy Exit Interview? Perhaps, but the crew quickly begins to piece together the reason for their new found bulls eyes and yadayadayada, you've got an hour an fifty minute long joyride.

It's fun. From start to finish, Red is good and tallies a 4.5 star score. My multiple personality readers will love this flick. It has something for everyone: action/adventure, comedy, solid storyline, even a couple of love stories thrown in for good measure, and don't forget the great performances from a classic cast. Malkovich is hilarious and he's not alone. There's plenty of funny to go around in this one between and amidst the flying ammo.

All in all, it's a story that simply meshes two ideas: "You're never too old to live life to the fullest!" and "You should never retire from doing what you love!" Me? I'll probably be dead long before I think about retirement and then the notion will just seem silly. See Red and see it BIG. 

True...out!